Author Archive

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English cuisine is generally so threadbare

English cuisine is generally so threadbare that for years there has been a gentlemen’s agreement in the civilized world to allow the Brits pre-eminence in the matter of tea—which, after all, comes down to little more than have ability to boil water. —Fred Metclalf, Penguin Dictionary of Humorous Quotations, p.85

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He thought risotto was an Italian football player

He thought risotto was an Italian football player but he prepared this in five minutes. —TV advert

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Canned steak and kidney pie with a little tomato ketchup on top

As soon as the French start queuing up for baked beans, I shall commit harakiri, simply by leaning slowly on my favourite carving knife. Yes: the day the French start eating canned steak and kidney pie with a little tomato ketchup on top it will mark the end of a great civilization,

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Body as a disused Methodist chapel

Like most British people, I see my body as a disused Methodist chapel, now used for storage of unsold jumble. —David Stafford, “Gut reactions”, The Guardian Weekend, October 5, 1996, p.14

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Fat-filled fast food or something pre-packaged

Jeremy Paxman in his new book on the English argues that “for the majority of people, eating out is to consume fat-filled fast food, and to eat in, to be a victim of something pre-packaged”. —Cosmo Landesman, “May we have the pleasure?”, The Guardian, Saturday October 17, 1998

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The English in terms of tea, roast-beef and rain

The English can be explained by their Anglo-Saxon heritage and the influence of Methodists. But I prefer to explain them in terms of tea, roast-beef and rain. A people is first what it eats, drinks and gets pelted with. —Pierre Daninos, Major Thomson and I, (1957) from the Oxford Dictionary of Humorous

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Etymology of brutish (and British)

Brutish obs. form of British. Oxford English Dictionary brutish, a. (ˈbruːtɪʃ) Also 5–6 brutisshe, -ysshe, 7–8 bruitish. [f. brute + -ish.] 1.1 Of or pertaining to the brutes, or lower animals, as opposed to man. 2.2 Pertaining to, resembling, or characteristic of the brutes: a.2.a in want of intelligence or in failure

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London, a city of the drab dead…

If Rome, a city of the vulgar living, had been depressing after Greece, London, a city of the drab dead, was fifty times worse. John Fowles, The Magus

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94% of UK adults would rather live without sex than their mobile phone

Two thirds of young Britons claim they couldn’t live without their phone 65% of people asked said they couldn’t live without their phone and 53% admitted they’re addicted to their handsets 9% admitted they preferred their mobile phones to their children Daily Mail Οι Βρετανοί ζουν χωρίς σεξ, αλλά όχι χωρίς το

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This vile cunt-starving land

Now wand’ring o’er this vile cunt-starving land I am content with what comes next to hand. Earl of Rochester, Sodom
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