humour Archive

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How does an Englishman know his wife has died?

How does an Englishman know his wife has died? Sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up in the sink.

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Englishmen are notorious lovers

Englishmen are notorious lovers; it only takes the average man ten years to ask the woman he loves for a kiss. Sometimes he proposes to a girl in maybe a year and a half—but not marriage. Peter Cagney, The Book of Wit and Humour, 2596

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Upper class, middle-class, lower class

Cleese: (In bowler hat, black jacket and pinstriped trousers) I look down on him (Indicates Barker) because I am upper-class. Barker: (Pork-pie hat and raincoat) I look up to him (Cleese) because he is upper-class; but I look down on him (Corbett) because he is lower-class. I am middle-class Corbett: (Cloth cap

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Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. Malcolm Muggeridge

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The British are a self-distrustful, diffident people

The British are a self-distrustful, diffident people, agreeing with alacrity that they are neither successful nor clever, and only modestly claiming that they have a keener sense of humour, more robust common sense, and greater staying power as a nation than all the rest of the world put together. Quoted in: Fourth
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