sex Archive

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How does an Englishman know his wife has died?

How does an Englishman know his wife has died? Sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up in the sink.

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Sex-free regions

Yorkshire and the North-east are set to be sex-free regions, at least as far as independent television is concerned. David Lister, “Yorkshire becomes sex-free zone”, The Independent, 4 January 97

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Fear of sex

While the world’s extremists are quite open about their fear of sex, the British pretend to be utterly at ease with it. Henry Porter, “Too close for our comfort”, The Observer, 13 October 1996

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We are naturally a covered up nation

We are naturally a covered up nation, both mentally and physically. The ancient Greeks lived in Greece. We live in Scunthorpe, Edinburgh and Manchester. The Independent, 24 August 1996

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We are not a physically confident nation

We are not a physically confident nation. When we think of ourselves making love we do not summon the blissful image of taut bodies coupling, but a vision of up-ended buttocks and too much cellulite. (…) Undressed we think of ourselves more naked than nude, the sort of nakedness you find in

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Catherine Morland began to curl her hair and long for balls

At fifteen, appearances were mending; she [Catherine Morland] began to curl her hair and long for balls. Jane Austen, Northhanger Abbey, Chapter 1

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Knowingness that suggested the whole sex thing mightn’t be totally alien to them

There was a “knowingness” about the way they walked that suggested the whole sex thing mightn’t be totally alien to them. Brendan O’Connor, Slices of Exotica, Irish Sunday Independent, June 22, 1997

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English girls were too sensible for sex

These girls [local girls] were too sensible for sex. They wanted to play chasing and stuff. Courtship and sex were relegated to being a hidden agenda lurking beneath the endless games of chasing on summer nights. Brendan O’Connor, Slices of Exotica, Irish Sunday Independent, June 22, 1997

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We all knew what them continentals were like about sex

Sure, we all knew what them continentals were like about sex. They were all at it from an early age, encouraged, we didn’t doubt, by their equally sex-mad parents. If only we could crack their continental cool and get our clammy claws on their tanned pert perfection. Brendan O’Connor, Slices of Exotica,

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Abroad is where sex happens and where the British are most at risk

It is also, you will notice, foreign. We find it helpful to associate sexual products and practices with foreigners because—naturally—we could not possibly have invented them. (…) Abroad is where sex happens and where the British are most at risk. Sarah Ferguson is trapped having her toes sucked in France, Hugh Grant
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